Monday, January 28, 2008

This post is a thinly veiled excuse to make LOLart.

Once upon a time, I had a shitty, shitty boyfriend. He was in a band and those of you who have dated musicians feel me when I say he was an emotionally stunted jackass. Breakup time came and I fell into a slight depression (psychotic tailspin). So, in a histrionic act of "Why doesn't he just fuck his guitar if he likes it so much?" combined with "Who says Art History majors can't make art?" I created this painting:

If it looks like a guitar with boobs and a vadge, that's because it is. See, so he can have sex with it! YEAH! It's not a tasteful nude. After I was done, I was super embarrassed by it and I threw it out. Unfortunately, my mom dug it out of the trash. And because I was still playing cello at that point, Mom mistook Vagina Guitar Lady for a cello. A tasteful nude cello abstraction. Never mind that it has a weirdly blurry, yet single sound hole found on acoustic guitars rather than the f-holes (seriously, that's what they're called) that you find on a cello. Never mind that, hello, it was in the trash. Probably there for a reason. Mom actually took it in to have it expensively framed, and now it hangs in the front hall of their house, at the bottom of the stairs, where Mom points it out to dinner guests, and where I've had to look at it every time I come home for going on, oh, ten years now. My asshole ex-boyfriend's anthropomorphic, fuckable guitar. I still haven't been able to tell Mom what it really is:

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